Batman vs Superman

Batman and Superman are, for reasons far too complicated to go into here, engaged in a fight.

Batman has, with cunning and intelligence, thrown everything he has at the Man of Steel.  Nothing seems to have an effect.

Superman, with speed and super strength, suddenly punches Batman in the neck.

Batman: Ow!

Superman: Oh, shit… sorry.  I got carried away.
supes

Batman: Jesus, Clark!

Superman: Sorry, sorry…

Batman kneels down, holding his neck.

Batman: You know I’m just a guy, right? I don’t have freakin’ super powers!

Superman: I said sorry!

Batman: Tell it to my lawyers you bastard.

Superman: You can’t sue me!

Batman: I’m Bruce Wayne, bitch, I can do whatever I like!

Superman: You can’t beat me up though, can you?

Batman: Oh, shut up.

 Superman smiles to himself.

 Batman: How’s Lois?

Superman: Oh she’s… wait a second…

 bat

 Superman: You didn’t?!

Batman: Twice.

Superman: You bastard!

Batman: Temper, temper, Superpussy. Actually…

Superman: Don’t say it…

Batman: Losi has a super pu…

Superman lunges at Batman, not noticing the Dark Knight has pulled something from his utility belt.  He swiftly raises his hand and stabs his foe.

Superman: Argh!

Batman: Kryptonite-fused knife, dummy.

Superman: Argh!

Superman collapses to the floor as the Batman stands above him.  He reaches into his utility belt once more, and pulls out a piece of cloth.

Batman: Give these back to Lois.

He throws a pair of ladies underwear onto Superman’s prone face, and then launches himself into the night.  The sound of a grappling hook connecting with a nearby building can almost be heard above the anguished scream of Kal-El. 

The end.

 

Posted by Norton

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