Less than Fantastic Four

Not to be outdone by my colleague in chimpness there is another superhero z movie we had the misfortune to see, sorry I meant pleasure to see.  This one was just as cra… great as that Turkish supermen returns film and was based on Marvels Fantastic Four comic.

Now I must divulge some important info at this point of proceedings, I loathe Fantastic Four. My least favourite comic ever, just shockingly bad drivel. Awful.

Anyway, quite a few years ago I caught wind of an unleashed FF film made around 1994 that was so bad it was worth witnessing just to experience how bad. I got lucky and managed to download it, keep in mind these were the days before you could find anything you wanted on YouTube, and subjected my chimp buddies to a night’s entertainment they would not forget in a long time. I’d like to start proceedings with this picture hosted on Wikipedia.

WTF?

As you can see, it looks rubbish.  The Thing’s outfit is hilarious. The team’s outfits are awful (although credit due for Dr Doom’s outfit, it wasn’t that bad) and their cheesy grins still give me nightmares to this day.

FF(1994)_drdoom

The plot of this monstrosity must have been written on the back of a cigarette packet; scientists try to harness comet’s powers, fail & Dr Doom is created, more scientists go into space and get hit by cosmic rays, FF are created. Dr Doom wants a diamond to power his death laser, hires thief, lots of people get kidnapped, stuff happens, bad acting… its all rather confused and messy, Dr Doom eventually gets diamond for laser, FF fight Dr Doom. FF win. Wedding. End.

The “special effects” used in this film are special, Reed’s extended limbs are shot with him off camera or in very specific positions and obviously suspended by wires as they wave about like it’s a windy day. Sue’s invisiblilty is a rather crude wipe effect. I can’t even remember what the Human Torch looked like, probably for the best. The Thing, well he looks like a walking turd.

The only redeeming bit (due to it being so laughable bad) of the film is the end after Reed and Sue are married, as they are driving off Reed extends one of his arms and waves goodbye. Awesome.

FF(1994)_end

It is available on YouTube to watch, you owe it to yourself. No, seriously.

Posted by Dillon

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